The Fight Like A Girl Club Power Pledge For Women who Fight like a Girl

As a Fight Like A Girl Club member and because I matter, I promise to stand strong in my fight against the health adversary that forced itself into my life. I recognize that there is a Power within me that has always been there. I am aware of this Power, I accept this Power, and I claim this Power. I am confident that by claiming this Power I will prevail. Because I care, I will share my experiences, both good and bad, with others going through similar struggles either through The Fight Like A Girl Club or any other place that I may be able to offer my assistance and compassion. I recognize that there may be times when I struggle and am tempted to quit. I will not feel guilty for these moments of uncertainty, for I am human, but I also will not dwell on them. During these times, I will remember my family, my friends, my Fight Like A Girl Club comrades, and others who love me and turn to them for assurance and support until I am back on my feet again. I will Fight Like A Girl and I will win. I CAN do this. I WILL do this because…

I CLAIM MY POWER!

The Rights of an Endometriosis Patient

You have the right to remain silent.  No one should ever feel obligated to entertain or otherwise indulge others when they are suffering in pain.

You have the right to expect non-judgmental validation and support from your core support network of loved ones, friends, etc.  No one should ever have to defend their symptoms.  To anyone.  Period.

You have the right to obtain a second, third or seventeenth opinion about your course of treatment(s).  No medical professional, family member, or other person should ever bully a woman or girl with endometriosis into a specific treatment because “their friend did it” or “that’s what everyone with endo does”.  What works for others, may not work for you, and vice versa.  Only you can decide what fits your symptoms, life and needs.

You have the right to authoritative information about your disease without having to weed through the ever-present propagation of myths, misinformation and inaccuracies that still continue to enshroud endometriosis.

You have the right to be “selfish” and focus on yourself and your recovery/well-being.

You have the right to remove toxic people from your life.  We only get one time around the ride; make the best of it in spite of this disease.  If it doesn’t bring value-added positivity to your life, remove it.

You have the right to efficacy of treatment(s).  If it’s not working, say “no more” and go to Plan B – whatever “Plan B” means to YOU.

You have the right to speak out about your disease.  If we don’t break the societal taboos about “period pain”, painful sex, infertility and all the other aspects of this illness that are not considered “appropriate” for public discussion, no one ever will.

You have the right to laugh, cry, scream, rant, rage, and show any other emotion you wish.  “Emotion” is not synonymous with “weakness”.

You have the right to expect appropriate pain relief measures without being labeled a ‘drug seeker’ and to hold an empowered role in your own healthcare decisions.

You have the right to have endometriosis acknowledged as a very real disease, the far-reaching impact of which is perhaps indescribable to others who do not live with the first-hand experience of it.  Simply because someone does not understand what you go through, does not make endometriosis any less a pivotal part of your life.  The onus to understand is on them - not you.

You have the right to grieve pregnancy loss, infertility and any other tangible or intangible loss associated with your battle against the disease - without being told to "move on" and "get over it".

You have the right to share your feelings...add on to this thread and keep it going!

Endometriosis:: Everything to Know.

Part II..

       Tom first came to visit when I was in 8th grade. I was a little freaked out at first. I knew what it was, but didn't really know what to do. So I did what any other 8th grader would do, && asked a friend. She had just started hers not too long before I got mine, so I knew shed know what to do. Sure enough, she knew exactly what to do && handed me a maxi pad. I guess I was excited about Tom's visit, but I didn't really know what to think. It just means I'm growing up was all I knew. I was starting the transformation from child to women; just like a butterfly transforms from a pupa to a beautiful creature with wings. I was excited about it but also scared..really scared. I eventually got used to Tom moving in every month. 
      In the beginning it wasn't bad at all. I never had a headache, no cramps, no nothin. I thought oh this isn't as bad as they all make it out to be. I could get used to this no problem.  Tom would just stop by for a few days a month && say hello how are you && hang out. I started to like having him around. He started to show personality. Yuup, I said it, personality. Why not right? Its a part of you, why not get to know it! After all, you do have to look after him every month right? He's going to be around for a long time. He's going to see you through all your hard times, all the good memories, your first kiss, your first child, everything. He's going to be there through it all. Good times && bad. 
       At first, Tom was just a code word we all used to talk about it without other people, especially the boys, knowing what we were talking about. As time went on, it became apart of all of our lives. Tom this, Tom that. 
       The first few years living with Tom wasn't bad. It was a piece of cake compared to other people. In High School though, things started to change. Tom started to change. His whole personality did a 180. I was like "Whoa, what the heck Tom"? Whats happening, I thought. Tom started punching && kicking me. Not hard, at least not at first. Midol would give Tom a swift kick in the butt && he'd knock it off. After a while, it started to get worse. The punches && kicks were harder && harder. He also started giving me horrible brain massages. Midol wasn't helping anymore. Tom was getting more && more aggressive as the months went on. So I started personifying Tom even more. He became an angry rocker with red curly hair. He was like a druggie out of control. He looked a lot like Dave Mustaine from Megadeth. 

     He started getting angrier && angrier. He was looking for a fight it seemed. I thought, Ill give you a fight, if thats what you want Tom. It takes two to tango && were in this together. The stronger he got the more painful the punches were. The more painful the punches were, the stronger my defense got. I started taking Advil, Aleve, Tylenol, Tylenol 3, Vicodin, Tramadol, Norcos...to no avail. He always seemed to win && it sucked. Im a competitive person, but winning doesn't matter to me. But this was different. This isn't supposed to happen. This isn't how it works. Im supposed to be able to take something && the punches stop. But no, Tom wouldn't let up. The harder I tried, the harder he fought back. I tell ya what, he does put up a good fight. It became a war. A monthly battle to see who could outsmart who. Every month his visit was exciting. There was always a new experiment to be tried, a new idea to be put to the test, a new challenge to defeat. It was actually kinda fun, in an odd sort of way. I started coming up with different strategies. Some worked, some didn't, others I tweaked till they worked. 
      Just as I was starting to figure out how to control Tom, he threw me a curveball. Seemed like he did that every time I figured out something that worked. It started getting annoying. Really annoying. Eventually Tom started getting the better of me. Literally. I started dreading Tom's visits. He was so mean. I couldn't wait for him to leave when he did visit. I just wanted it to be over && him to be gone. He was starting to control his visits, && I felt like I was loosing control. I started to get sick when he would show up. Yuup, sick. I had migraines, I would throw up, I would get dizzy, I passed out a few times. My entire body would ache. I felt horrible && looked the part too.
       I always managed to get through another episode. I never lot it stop me from doing what I needed to do or from having fun. Tom may be having one of his famous fits, but that didn't stop me. I still hiked kids around the mountain side exploring animal tracks && threw up in the bushes. I would run to the bathroom in the middle of lecture && skills during EMT class so I could throw up. Several times my instructor said I "looked like death". I sure felt like it. 

Proclamation of a Successful Recovery

I have a disease; but I am not the disease. I am separate from this disease, && I accept the responsibility to do whatever it takes to maintain that seperation. I have the ability && the responsibility to recognize the voice of this disease && to disagree with it when it tells me what I should do.


I accept full responsibility for continuting to develop my personal vision of emotional && physical health in specific terms, && for focusing my attention towards that positive vision.


When I stumble or slip in my recovery, I respond with compassion && firmness like a strong, loving parent who accepts her child unconditionally.


I know that perfection is not an option, && I disagree when old programming tells me that it is. 


I support myself by acknowledging my efforts && my progress all along the way. When I fall short of my expectations, I remember that I am only human && that I don't deserve to be attacked for being less than perfect. 

                                                                                                         

March is Endometriosis Awareness Month

        March 1st is Yellow Shirt Day! 

All you have to do is wear a yellow shirt, show your support && help spread awareness! 

(http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=128586587197879)

How can you help? 

You can do one or more of these 5 ideas. [[You dont have to do them all]] 

1.) Wear some thing yellow every day. [[Shirt, pin, ribbon, etc]]

2.) Tell people about the disease or have them go to the Endometriosis Wiki page for more info. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Endometriosis)

3.) Add a badge to your profile picture for endometriosis awareness. (http://www.picbadges.com/tag/endometriosis/)

4.) Save a dollar every day through out March to donate to the ERC (Http://www.endocenter.org/)

5.) Invite people to join in the awareness and/or this event.

Dear Parents, Partners, Friends, Families, Employers & Doctors:

I didnt write this, but I can sure relate to it, as Im sure a lot of us can..

We have spent the last years of our lives apologizing for being stricken with a disease we did nothing to contract, and we can do it no longer. We are asking - again - for your understanding. We are not responsible for not living up to your expectations the way you think we should. What you seem to fail to realize, is that you are just as much a part of the cycle of the disease as we are, because you are not getting the whole of our person and our capabilities. 

We are not "lazy," we are not "whiners," we do not make the pain up "in our heads." 

We have Endometriosis. 

We know that we look healthy on the outside, and that is sometimes harder to accept than if we exhibited the disease in our every day appearance. What you don't see is what our organs look like on the inside, and you don't see what living with it has done to our emotional well-being. 

When we call in sick, it's not because we need a mental health day or to "go shopping." It's because we can't get out of bed from the pain. Do you think we like letting our careers suffer? Would it be easier for you to understand if we said we had cancer and looked the part? 

When we get emotional and cry at the seemingly silliest things, or get angry for even less reason, it's not because we are "flaky women." It is because we are taking drug therapies to stall this incurable disease, or perhaps it's because we have come close to the breaking point after dealing day in and day out with the pain for which there is no defined cause or absolute cure. 

When we can't have intimate relations with our partners, it is not because we don't love you or want to. It's because we can't. It hurts too much. And we aren't feeling real attractive right now. 

When you, our parents, can't understand that since you are healthy, we should be too, but aren't - try harder. We don't understand it either. We need your support more than anyone's. 

When we can't go to family gatherings or accept social invitations, it's not because we don't wish to share in your fun. It's because we feel like pariahs. You are all having such a nice time with your children and loved ones - we can't remember the last time we had a nice time, or the last time we were pain-free. We can't have a nice time with our children (some of us); because we were robbed of that chance before we were old enough to even care about having them in the first place. Do you think we need to be reminded of our battle with infertility by watching you and your babies? Or for those of us who were blessed enough to be able to conceive, do you think we want a constant reminder that we never feel well enough to spend enough quality time with our children, or worse - that we might have passed this disease down through our genetics onto our daughters? 

When you married us, you didn't know that we meant the "in sickness and in health" part literally, did you? We bet you were counting on at least a 50/50 split of that combination, rather than the 90/10 ratio you got. You are our caretakers, the ones who drive us to and from our doctors, countless surgeries, and emergency room visits. You are the ones who hear us crying in the night and see us break down during the day. You are the ones who wait on us hand and foot after surgery. You are the ones that go for months on end without sharing our beds with us. You are the ones that deal with our infertility right along with us. We strike out at you when we are hurting and angry, and you take it in stride. You are perhaps bigger victims of Endometriosis than even we are. You are appreciated more than words can ever say. 

Don't give up on us now. 

As a medical professional, we are coming to you for help. We are asking you to do the job you were trained to do and ease our suffering. We do not need you to tell us that we are imagining the excruciating pain we live in, or worse yet, that it is "normal for a woman to hurt." Keep up with your research, find the cause of this disease and better yet, find a cure! Stop taking the easy way out and drugging us into oblivion so that we will quiet down. We want answers and it is your job to provide them. You were the ones that took the oath to heal - why do we have to try to do your job? Do you understand what it means when we tell you that we literally can no longer live a normal life and care for ourselves and our families? We're not drug seeking; we're answer seeking. 

Are you not up to the challenge to find the answers? 

To those we have called friends all our lives, why have you deserted us when we needed your compassion and understanding the most? Do you see the selfishness of your actions? When we can't get together with you, it's not because we don't like you or we don't care - it's because we are no longer capable of enjoying healthy leisure time. Our minds are consumed with our next doctor's appointments, what surgery we are going to have next, and why we feel so sick all the time. This is not about you - it never was and it never will be. It is about us. Please try to remember what the term "friend" means. 

Try to walk one minute in our shoes. We have fought a war for the better part of our years. We are faced daily with physical pains we can't understand and mental anguish we can barely cope with some days. We face a society daily that doesn't even know the word "Endometriosis," much less the ramifications of living with the disease. We have to face uneducated and unsympathetic doctors who tell us "it's all in your head", and "have a hysterectomy, it will cure you", or "get pregnant, it will cure you", when we know that it won't and have been dealing with infertility for the last however many years. Can't you see that? 

We have to fight to get medical treatment that insurance companies don't deem necessary, or worse, we deplete our savings because aren't able to obtain proper care unless we pay for it ourselves and travel thousands of miles to the rare specialists that are few and far between. We have to have surgery after surgery and subject ourselves to horrific medications just to be able to get out of bed in the morning. This is not a conscious choice we made, it was the hand we were dealt. It is enough of a war we wage just to try and live with some modicum of normalcy - don't make it harder on us by not seeing the reasons why. 

Endometriosis is a disease that affects all of us. 

Take the time to learn about it and understand. If you can do that, and you can join us in the battle for a cure, then we can one day return to our old selves and live a normal, pain-free life. We can have healthy relationships with our loved ones. We can stop taking the painkillers that numb our suffering to a degree and become part of the living again. 

Please don't judge us and declare that we are all the things we are not - until you have lived with this disease ravaging your mind and body, you cannot speak on it. 

Whatever doesn't kill us makes us stronger, someone once said. While Endometriosis may not kill our physical body, it tries like hell to kill our spirit. It tries to kill every hope and dream we ever had of doing the things that make us happy. All of us are out here searching for a cure to put an end to the disease...and we are holding our heads high in spite of Endometriosis and fighting it every single day. We are asking you to take part in that battle and work with us beating it. Wouldn't it be nice to have back the daughter, wife, friend or loved one you once knew? 

Think about it.